power.

well well. its been an interesting weekend i suppose.

Saturday...OSU lost...and while im not like devastated about their poor performance....i guess somewhere deep down i have to admit that i was raised to care about the buckeyes. no matter how miserable i find ohio to be.

My dad got a new tv and even though our house is small and inconvenient to large gatherings, my dad insisted that my aunt and uncle and cousins come to our house ...even though their house is on the larger side of life and more than accomodating. whatever. So at three oclock my aunt uncle and cousin and boyfriend show up at our house. ( they are always welcome..they are a fun time and my aunt can cook..and well..i love food.) any way...basically...its not like my mom and dad and I are unkept people, but with my dad unable to really get around still and my mom..well..i have no idea..and me being a lazy college student...our house is usually in dissaray. soo. after being out until six am friday , i had to get up early saturday to help my mother clean the house. and by the time we were done they were here so i go ust about zero sleep.
1am rolls around..and sadly no one is drunk because the take a shot after every touchdown fieldgoal didnt really work since only one was acctually accomplished.
so everyone gets up to leave, and i start getting ready to go meet some friends when my mother comes up and says you cant go out.
why?
because apparently my cousin and her boyfriend are staying the night.
what?
now. this would be where the fact that we have a small house..with one spare room...with piles and piles of junk in it. there is a bed in there somewhere...but i wouldnt be able to tell you where. not to mention its the oldest bed of all time and is held up by sketchy boards and my cousins bf was a large boy and im pretty sure the bed would have collapsed.

so there was one alternative. My room.

well there is a bed in my room somewhere too but as i said before...locating it..uhh good luck.
so i had to run downstairs and just start throwing things in corners of my room and spraying air freshener cause my old smelly dog ( love her <3) sleeps with me everynight not to mention i have like 39 loads of dirty laundry and books and cups and dust everywhere because im not really a duster, oh my goodness. its just insane. and i dont even have a door to my room just a curtain because my drunk friend broke it about three years ago. so basically i spent like 30 minutes appologizing for the conditions..and being college students themselves i know they didnt really care but still. i had to do the same damage control in my bathroom also because it was a hot ass mess too.
any way. i live in the basement basically and its just an allergen breeding ground. dampness..dust..two cats and a dog..im immune obviously i dont have allergies really but my cousins boyfriend does apparently which i did not know at the time.

basically they got to sleep around 230 am..and they had to be up at 530 because they were travelling to another game the next morning or something..so i fell asleep at about 330 on the couch and woke up again at six to see them off...her boyfriend couldnt breathe and i felt kinda bad...and then i couldnt get back to sleep because i had to work at ten.

well. im working and..the wind is blowing...and the power goes out at the mall. ( at this time i didnt know how hard or bad the conditions were outside) but at three pm the power goes out. policy is that people have to get out of the store so it was a long process of getting people out of the fitting rooms and putting there stuff on hold.
"when is the power coming back on?"
"we can try clothes on in the dark we dont mind"
"can we just wait here for it to come back on, we dont mind waiting"
"when will it come back on?"

omygosh people are retarded. seriously get the hell out of the store right now and go home. no one is going to take your clothes over night. the registers arent even working please tell me how you are even planning to purchase. Like people were getting mad. I wanted to punch a baby.

any way people finally got out and we closed the store..and when we got outside i was in shock. ive never experienced wind like that! i had to hold on to my manager because we were literally being blown off balance. there were wrecks everywhere and wires down. i called my dad and we still had power at home but by the time i actually made it home the power was out. trees everywhere. My next door neighbors HUGE tree was pulled up by the roots. it was insane and i thought a tornado had blown through. thankfully we only lost one tree and it wasnt big. sirens went off all night and i was exhausted so i fell asleep and woke up at 9 pm and the power was still out and my cell phone wasnt working and almost dead at that. i tried to sleep more but i was just freaked out. im not scared of the dark when i know i can illuminate the darkness whenever i please, but when im involuntarily blacked out i get a little scurrred.
so basically i was able to sleep until about 2am. and then i couldnt calm down enough to sleep.
i had to be at work at eight at the animal hospital, and power was still out there as well. i couldnt see a thing in the kennel and i was just praying a dog didnt get out and make me chase it around in the dark. and worst of all we have a freezer where we keep the animal we put to sleep, and it was completley melted.
there wasnt much to do considering the circumstances so i went home after an hour.
i came home and went back to sleep cause again..not much to do.
i woke up around 2 and the power was back on! so thank god for that! but apparently the house where the tree was uprooted, when the power came back on it started a fire. so that was scary. and i was slightly afraid to turn things on in fear of starting a fire myself. but i was so hungry i had to make ramen noodles.
one half of my street has power, while one still has no power at all. its insane. i was listening to news saying that people in some parts of ohio and kentucky wont have power for at least seven days! I cant even imagine being in houston or galveston and wherever else got the real deal.
people are ridiculous who didnt evacuate. im sorry i dont care what excuse you can think of, they warned people in plenty plenty of time. its not like you didnt know what to expect. Katrina should have shown everyone that. and now so many people are putting their lives at risk to rescue stupid people. its aggravating, even though if i could i would be rescuing people too. But if it were me i would not rely on the kindness of the government and people to save me. not after the fiasco that was Louisianna. Whatever. its all insane. Nature is such an amazing force.

Any way..so we were without power for basically a day. and my dad is convinced since we didnt open the fridge that everything in it is okay.
i on the other hand am not that gullible. I will not drink the milk. but i broke down and ate a tomato mayo sandwich...and now feel like that may have been a questionable thing to do.
ill keep you posted on any stomach irritations lol.

annnnnnd, school is sooo cancelled for today. Im excited however...i didnot go to my first class all last week...and now this will be three of three classes i will have missed....things are looking positive..haha.

im going back to sleep now.
I had a dream that i was dating cris angel from mind freak.
this concerns me because in real life im thinking he is dancing the line of anti christ material...
hmmm..no good no good.

p.s.

my fine at the library is back up to thirty dollars.
damn.

future.

soooo. the last two weeks of my life have been incredibly eye opening. i cant say that in some way i wish my eyes were still closed to some of the things i realize now, but i guess its all for the better. but it has got me thinking about what i want. what i want in my future. because honestly i dont think about the future very often because i hate to get too excited for things. and as morbid as it sounds, ive lost a lot of friends in the past year....and it makes me think about death and the fact that nothing is for sure. so in some twisted way i think that there is a good possibility that i could be the next, so getting excited for a very distant future seems a little futile. but i guess youll have that when you lose people you love and care about.

But as i said before. the last few days i have done nothing but visualize what i want in the next twenty years....as far as people and lifestyle and just everything....

first of all i want to go back south. Texas or memphis. Where i grew up is a steaming pile. The economy is bad, education is bad, its just not going any where. My dad reminds me of this all the time. But that has never mattered to me. My childhood was amazing. i know everyone is typically fond of there childhood, but i am more than fond. Sometimes i even venture to think that the best part of my life is over. life was simple. and it was good. granted i was sheltered from the worst, but most kids are, and even if they arent they wouldnt know things were bad. i would walk and ride my bike a mile around our neighborhood by myself when i was five. and that was okay because everyone knew everyone in that mile loop and everyone looked out for everyone else. of course there were a few mean people but even they did their part.

I live on a street now, which i have lived for six years and i still dont know the names of the people across the street or two doors to the left or right. i guess im as much to blame as anyone else for that. but you dont see kids riding around or selling lemonade on the corner or washing cars for the neighbors. no one plays outside. they sit inside with their playstations and wiis and watch tv.
i loved my school, i loved that i could ride my bike to school all year round cause it never got below 50 degrees except for a freak two or three times. i loved that the barbeque hut on the corner near our school always let us go before and after school for snacks. And i loved getting yelled at for riding my bike on the green at the country club. and i loved playing in the ditch at the back of the neighborhood. Im getting on a tangent i did not want to start but my point is i want to live in the south. a small town...well relatively small....and i want to know the people in my town. I want to do favors for them. I want to go to the grocery store thats not kroger and be able to have a conversation with 90 percent of the people shopping. i want to support the local highschool football team and serve people nachos at the consession stands. maybe i could be a sub on the days i didnt have to work..The kids can call me miss carrie and i will know them well enough that they can come to me with a problem. i wont need a huge house. just one with a nice porch and a lot of trees. i dont know yet if i want a more modern house or one that resembles a cabin...thats just a minor detail in the grand scheme of things. ill most definatley need a fenced in back yard. and i want a hammock. maybe a pool to help keep me in shape and then kids can come over in the summer and swim. if its possible i would like to live near a body of water or nature park of somesort cause i cant live without my walks. Im going to have an extensive reading collection, as well as dvd. especially I love lucy. because i lovvve to watch i love lucy. especially when it rains...weird i know. as well as every beatles and elvis cd one could possily own.

im going to have a lot of animals. i want horses..and a pig and a goose. and of course dogs and cats.

i probably will never accomplish full blown vet school but i would settle for being a vet assistant or working in a zoo. and would also enjoy teaching yoga for all ages. im passionate about animals first and foremost. but im also very passionate about nutrition and wellness, even though im not the most nutritious or well.

i also have a passion for religion and philosophy. Ethical debates are always exciting and you always learn something. so maybe one day ill teach.

and i want to travel. although probably will need to be heavily sedated while crossing the magor bodies of water.

im plagued by time because i have all these things i want to do but not enough time to do it.



anyway...i think the people in my life that i truly count as friends will be there for me forever no matter what. even if i can only count them on one hand. sometimes i have to give up and realize that some friends are only temporary.

looking back...i guess part of me is okay with the fact that i moved to ohio. ive hated it since day one...but i guess it has changed me as a person. Some good and some bad , but it has deffinatley shaped me......but im still more than ready to get out. ..and start being me..on my own.